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First-Gen Wisdom: Letter to my younger self

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First-Gen Wisdom: Letter to my younger self


From first-gen to first-gen, let me start by saying I’M PROUD OF YOU. If you are only thinking of applying to college, currently a college student, almost graduated, but things happened, or graduated, I AM PROUD OF YOU. This is an informal letter to my younger self, before I started at Tuskegee University. 


Dear 18 y/o Know-It-All Nadia,


I know you’re reading this letter laying on top of the mountain at F.D. Roosevelt State Park, left hand digging in the grass with the wind chilling your skin. This is a habit that won’t leave you. I’m proud that you found peace in the outdoors. 


It's 2021 for me, and this year can either be the year of redemption or a push further into the apocalypse. I’m telling you, girl, do ALL THE THINGS before 2020! When 2020 comes, the year you graduate from college, life is going to knock you upside the head harder than your grandma does when you have an attitude. Be warned. 


I know right now all you’re worried about is that boy, whatever his name is, but please girl — get your life already lol. WE HAVE BIGGER FISH TO FRY. 


You’re about to start college, the first in your family to do so. That’s a major step, and I know you feel it. You have all these questions and no one to ask. Your parents will try their best to answer them, but they really have no clue. Go easy on them. They got you here so you can answer those questions for your own kids (no ma’am, you DO NOT have kids in 2021). 


When you get to Tuskegee for freshman week, you’ll feel… weird. You won’t understand how some people have SOOO much money (It’s really not much, but significantly more than you ever had) and are so prepared for school. Then you’ll learn their parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents went to college and start to feel an increasing sense of inadequacy on just the first day. If it makes you feel any better, these kids turn out to be your BEST friends and help you along the way. 


You’ll dive into work to prove your worthiness when classes start, leaving little room for socializing. Sadness, anxiety, and depression will creep in like never before. YOU MAKE IT OUT, THOUGH. Your parents don't know what's going on, because they don't understand how draining college can be and how heavy the weight of being the first in the family is. So here are the things I want you to know before it gets too hard! 


1. As real as impostor syndrome feels, you are TOTALLY worthy!Impostor syndrome is those moments where you feel you aren’t as qualified as everyone else or that people see you as less qualified. Remember, it’s not about what people think. Practice some self-love and give life your all. You only live once and you do not have to be perfect to live. NEVER doubt yourself!


2. Girl, you BEEN broke. 
You’ll get to college and start feeling bad about not having enough money to “fit in.” All your friends have this or that, but comparison is the thief of joy. You have always lived this way. Why do you need more now? Channel this energy into looking for more scholarships, fellowships, work study, and even a side hustle (only if you can happily handle it). You can’t buy peace, long-term happiness, or beauty. Look at the beauty of your whole being, who you are, and what you bring to the world instead. It’s all you’ll ever need. 

3. It’s gonna take some time to pick a major, and that’s fine. 
Remember when you kinda wanted to be a veterinarian, but kinda just didn’t know what else you could do? Like right now, at this moment? Well, vet school is far from where you end up, but you eventually find something you really love (only after changing majors SEVEN times!!). I’m sorry. I just can’t believe you will always be so indecisive. *Long sigh.*  Just because a major sounds like it brings in the big bucks, doesn’t mean it’ll always make you happy. Happiness comes first, polliwog.  

4. Get involved and ask for help.
Join any club of interest, because you never know what you’ll gain! Clubs are where you’ll get that sense of belonging and courage to speak up. Luckily, you’ll attend one of the greatest HBCUs on the planet, and help will be thrown at you from all places. Deans, professors, upperclassmen, custodians, food service workers, random people you may only see once in your entire college career. Take heed! This is your support system now. You are NOT alone. 

5. College friends are WAY different from high school friends. 

The friends you meet as a freshman will be with you until you graduate. And that’s just that on that. Cherish them and help them grow like they’ll help you. Some will leave, never straying tooooo far, and some will NEVER leave, no matter how hard you try to get rid of them. Love them dearly. As you may lose communication with some of your high school friends, because of your different paths, it won’t be the end of the world. Your college friends will understand your struggle a little better and be great pillars of support for studying or 2 AM mental breakdowns. 

6. Be you.

Unapologetically. You are an amazing person with special experiences not everyone has had. You’re probably experiencing something right now that sets you apart. What you have to say is important whether that's in class, office hours, or a club meeting. Your professors and advisors will appreciate you tons for being open to them about your struggles so they can help you get that degree! That's what you want, right?


All of this may not make sense right now or seem so important, but trust in me. I mean, I’m you. Stop worrying so much, live your life, and enjoy yourself. Embrace the mistakes. Take the risks. No matter how hard your work may seem, the reward is worth it. You WILL get through this. 


Sincerely,

You. 

This letter does not cover all the struggles I faced as a first-generation, low-income college student. These are only the things I would tell myself based on my personality. If you are a first-gen student that is struggling or just looking for a listening ear, feel free to reach out! I would love to chat. 





Nadia Bowles is a young professional forester and recent graduate of Tuskegee University. During her undergraduate career, she researched the sustainability of miscanthus and switchgrass intercropping in loblolly pine plantations. Nadia will start her MS in Forestry in the Fall of 2021. She is also the Communications Chair for the SWS Student Section. Follow her on Twitter or reach out to her directly at nadia.bowles20@gmail.com.


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